I’m sorry, but there is no reason to keep your sunglasses on when you enter a building for longer than, oh let’s say, 30 seconds.*  I understand you may need to get situated, get your keys out, shift your coffee to the other hand, but after that, sunglasses should be moved up onto the crown of the head. Kind of like a headband.

Obviously if you’ve just had laser surgery or, for that matter, any other eye-related medical thing, this need not apply to you. But I know the trendy girl in big Chanel sunglasses sitting on the 6 train and the guy that hides his eyes every day riding the elevator all the way up to the 6th floor did not just come from the optometrist.

There are, of course, exceptions to the rule such as, but not necessarily limited to, being hungover, being high, or some other drug induced state where the world is better off not seeing your face and spaced out eyes. But you can usually tell if this is the case by said person’s other actions and body language (i.e. slumped shoulders, slow movements, fits of laughter, lips pursed to contain nausea induced vomiting, etc.).

What I have to say to all of you indoor sunglass wearers is that you, my friend, are not a rockstar. It makes you look pretentious and silly. Take them off. It’s NOT that bright in here.

*This also applies to the any subway line/station that goes underground. Once it’s over the bridge or out of Harlem, take ‘em off!