After three days in a jeep and a long, uncomfortable overnight ride from Uyuni (read: broken seats whilst trying to sleep), I and my fellow travelers arrived in the capital of Bolivia.  I spent 8 days here at the Wild Rover Hostel — arguably one of the best hostels in South America.

Attention budget travelers!  Bolivia is the cheapest place I have ever been.  Which is probably why I unintentionally spent two weeks in a country I wasn’t originally planning to visit.  Note to Americans: get your visa before you go.  I had to make three trips to the migration office to sort that out once I arrived in La Paz.  Avoid it.

Anyway, more than half the time I spent outside of Wild Rover was at the Witches’ Market (pictured below in the two vertical images) draping myself in extraordinarily cheap llama and alpaca as I wasn’t previously aware of the frigid temperatures in this high altitude city.  You can also buy llama fetuses and bury them in your front yard for good luck.  We bought one and buried it in our friend’s bed for his birthday.  Sick?  Maybe.  Hilarious?  You bet.  Either way I’m guessing he’ll have good luck all year.

The other image below is of the San Pedro Prison about which Marching Powder was written.  I haven’t yet read the book, but it’s next up on my list since Brad Pitt’s production company has cast Don Cheadle in the main role and it’s due out this year.

Honestly I didn’t do much more sightseeing in La Paz as I had just spent a week running around the deserts and mountains of Chile and Bolivia.  Shopping and hanging out were my main priorities here.  And now I have an entire wardrobe of llama to prove it.

When we weren’t out in the middle of nowhere chasing flamingos around their lagoons, we were stopping in tiny little towns for food and supplies.  Not all of these places were technically ghost towns, but there were rarely more than a few people wandering around.  Very quiet and very eerie.  It’s almost like they saw six jeeps worth of travelers pull in and hightailed it indoors to hide from the cameras… oh, wait.

The buildings are all made from mud bricks creating a very “beige” feel save for the colorful doors and the bright blue sky.

Waiting to get the hell out of this place and go chase more llamas.

This graveyard was about a quarter mile outside of one of the true ghost towns.  Totally creepy and cool.  And shockingly well preserved.

South America doesn’t have many running trains.  Bolivia has many discarded train cars and tracks.  Obviously the perfect photo op.

What happens when a bunch of Aussies, an American, and a non-English speaking Bolivian guide jump in a jeep for 3 days?  Other than almost losing their minds by the third day (said jeep: comfy at first, cramped by the end), they chew a lot of cocoa leaves (for the altitude) in between stopping to see a lot of really cool stuff (ahem, scroll down), and keep 2 Many DJs on repeat to maintain a real life video game atmosphere.

There were only about a million incredible photo ops between crazy desert rock formations, hot springs, blue lagoons where flamingos and llamas coexist, and the awesomely flat salt flats.  I’ve put the rest of the set on flickr for your viewing pleasure.  Who knew Bolivia was so amazingly beautiful?  Best kept secret?  Well, the secret’s out.

Next up: Bolivia Jeep Tour Part II: Ghost Towns

Yes, that’s right.  No rainfall has ever been recorded.  At 2400 meters, it’s pretty high up there and let me tell you that walking up sand dunes to board down them leaves you sucking wind pretty badly, if totally worth it.  I spent 2 whirlwind days seeing as much as possible here before heading off on a jeep tour to Bolivia.  My only regret is not having enough time to spend photographing the tiny town that thrives solely on tourism.  I guess that just means I’ll have to go get another Chile stamp on my passport.

First excursion: stargazing to see the southern night sky.  Having never been in the southern hemisphere prior, I honestly don’t think I had ever heard of the Southern Cross (pictured below, top of image, slightly to the right).  The only time I had ever seen the Pointer stars (also below, almost dead center) was in Mr. Garnsey’s planetarium back in grade school.  Also of note: the milky way is far brighter in the south.

Next day, first excursion: “swimming” in the salt lagoons.  The quotation marks are because you don’t really swim, you float.  The salt makes you super buoyant so you can just kind of hang out in the water.  Pretty sweet save for when you exit and end up with dry and crusty salt skin and clothing.  I showered three times that day.

Second excursion: dune boarding in Death Valley.  This one kind of speaks for itself.  It’s on my bucket list.  CHECK!

Third up: trekking through Lunar Valley for sunset (pictures above left and below).  Yes, that is an active volcano.  Yes, it is super cool.  Yes, I love the desert now.

Next up: Bolvia Jeep Tour.

It was in Salta, Argentina that I learned how butterflies mate.  Incredibly curious.

While I was in Mendoza, Argentina I went horseback riding in the Andes.  Previous to this South American excursion I had never spent any time in the desert and since I live in the northeast, I’m used to humid summers and snowy winters.  It was incredibly strange being in a barren land that is extremely hot in the sun, chilly when the wind blows, and freezing at night (and also covered in several feet of snow during the winter months requiring chains on the tires of the 4×4s that navigate the dirt roads).  The mountains themselves are jarring as the surrounding land is quite flat.

My horse, Americus, has a lovely natural tattoo of South America (pictured below) and I fell in love with his laziness.  Who needs to rush when you’ve got a beautiful day and gorgeous scenery?  We were also fortunate enough to be entertained by a swarm of condors — the guide confirmed he had never seen anything like the show they put on for us.  The last image is of horses that our guide had us wrangle.  Yes, that is correct.  I wrangled horses in Argentina.  Certified cowgirl right here.

So as not to overwhelm you lovely readers I’ve posted the rest of the set of photos on flickr.

If you’re anything like me then there is hardly a sweeter sound than air being released from a popped cork.  When I decided to travel through Argentina, a visit to the major wine region of Mendoza was a must.  I had never done much research to figure out why Argentinian wine was so good.  I figured why not just go to the source and learn from the experts?

Turns out many of the grapes were shipped over from Europe and just happened to take well to the soil and climate in this area of Argentina.  The same is true of the Tannat wines in Uruguay.  Pretty cool, right?

I visited four bodegas (very confusing name for a Brooklynite where bodegas are delis/convenience shops) and tasted several more during my stay.  Even my hostel provided free wine every night and let me tell you that everyone sat vigil for 8pm to roll around.  I highly recommend Hostel Lao if ever you decide to visit Mendoza (I had some sweet photos on my iPhone of the lovely place, but alas my phone was stolen in Peru and the photos are lost).

At any rate, Navarro Correas had the best white of the day.  I’m not a big fan of whites (haven’t yet developed a taste for them?), but the citrusy (is that a word?) smooth 2009 Los Arboles Chardonnay had me smacking my lips and raising my glass for more.  The best red of the day goes to Carmine Granata’s 2007 Malbec Reserve with it’s strong tannins.

As soon as I arrived in Buenos Aires, Argentina I realized that there was no way I could possibly see much of the city in the few days I had there.  The city is huge, seemingly much bigger than New York.  And so I discovered the best way to explore new cities with a limited amount of time when you can’t bring yourself to get onto those double decker tourist buses — bike tours.  La Bicicleta Naranja has 4 different routes through BA that go every day twice a day.  Our guide was super informative and super awesome.  Not to mention that the city is absolutely gorgeous.

I think it’s time New York catches on to this bike tour business.

One night in this lovely Uruguayan colonial town and I was sold.  I could have spent a week here, but at this point in my journey there wasn’t much room for flexibility.

I also spent a couple of nights in Montevideo — Uruguay’s capital.  This city is sort of anticlimactic, but the Ciudad Viejo (Old City) is kind of cool in a ghost town sort of way.

Arriving back in the ol’ US of A.  Always good for a dose of reverse culture shock.  Even more so when changing planes in Charlotte, North Carolina where the speech is slower and the hair is bigger.  This is how it went:

Customs Agent: “Whur have ya been?”

Me: “Brasil, Argentina, Uruguay, Chile, Bolivia, and Peru.”

CA: “What is it that you do?”

Me: “I’m currently unemployed.”

CA: “How can ya afford vacation if yur not werkin’?”

Me: “I had money saved.”

And then he slashes a big X through my customs form and I proceed to the next stop where all of my bags are pulled apart in search of drugs.  It took awhile so I got to have a longer chat with this official.  A few bits of our conversation:

CA: “What’s this?”

Me: “It’s cachaça.”

CA: “What’s cachaça?”

Me: “It’s Brasilian alcohol.  A drink.”

A bit later in our conversation:

(Official pulls out a box of business cards and turns them over looking confused.)

Me: “Business cards.  I was networking.”

CA: “Yah want to live thur or sumthin’?”

Me: “Sure.  Why not?  It’s beautiful there.”

CA: “It’s not as nice as yah think.  It’s bad down thur.  Dangerous.”

And this is where I keep my mouth shut because I’m dealing with government officials.  But what I wanted to say was excuse me, SIR, but you are the stereotypical ignorant fool that makes America the butt of everyone’s joke.  You clearly know nothing of Brasil except for whatever the media feeds you.  It’s dangerous if you’re dumb, but anywhere else is comparable.  Not to mention I just spent a significant amount of time in the country – which is why you’re pulling all my shit apart – and have firsthand knowledge of exactly what is going on down there.

Anyway, another excerpt:

CA: “How long did it take to get yur visa?  I dun git to travel much cuz I gotta werk.”

Me: “It was pretty fast.  Expensive though.  It’s pricey to travel as an American — reciprocity fees and visas everywhere.”

CA: “Yeah, we don’t have the best relations with a lot of countries.”

NO KIDDING.  But again, no response from me because I don’t feel like creating friction when I’m attempting to go home and am clearly suspect.

After four months of trying to put a good name out for Americans, to show other people that we can be intelligent, cultured, and able to hold a conversation, this is what I come back to?

Ugh.  Send me back to South America.  And by all means, keep cracking those gringo jokes.